Tuesday, 14 January 2014

3 weeks ago everything changed

Before Christmas I was planning my move to Berlin, thinking about my last day at work, looking at house shares ads, planning a farewell drink up for my nearest and dearest. I was thinking about the things I'd miss, the boy, Rambocat, my mum, my mates, seeing my friends' babies grow up... I kept telling myself "Berlin isn't that far away, I could always come back to visit or just come home if it was all too much".

Despite the cold feet, I was resolute. The decision had been made. I definitely couldn't stay here anyway. To say I wasn't enjoying work was more than an understatement. I felt undervalued, frustrated, it all seemed so pointless. I never thought I'd be the kind of person whose self esteem was so tied in with my job. It's seems so obvious really. Feel shit about what you do for most of the day and you're more than likely to feel shit about yourself.

Then one morning at work my phone rang, the call was from a lecturer on the NCTJ journalism diploma. She had read my blog, this blog, and said I was just the kind of person they were looking for. I couldn't believe it, I thought I'd missed the boat. I wanted to do the course since I left university. The problem was, I was perpetually skint until I got my most recent job and was able to start saving a little bit of money each month: the Berlin fund. Of course I accepted in a fucking heartbeat. 

Berlin was always a gamble. It was also my last resort. Whatever I said out loud or on here, I knew I was running away. I've decided to stay, decided to fight. I'm not resigning myself to misery and selling my soul, sanity and self worth with it.

I have no idea what 2014 will bring but I know it's going to be good. And Berlin? Berlin will have to wait xx

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Happy things are happening

Last week I wrote a post about  seven things I'm looking forward to this year. We're only nine days in and two of them have already happened *smiles*

I got my first big tattoo on Saturday. It's a series of moons in different phases down my arm. People have asked me why I chose moons. Is there any other reason to get a tattoo apart from it looks fuckin' cool? Well yeah, but I'm keeping that under my hat for now.

In other very important news, my friend gave birth to a baby boy on Tuesday. He's sooo cute and tiny. I can't wait to get to know him!

It's just a phase I'm going through

Friday, 3 January 2014

Seven things I'm looking forward to in 2014

1. Four of my favourite friends having their first babies.
I'm know everyone says this but I'm *really* looking forward to being the cool aunty. 

2. Training to be a journalist
Later this month I'm starting a journalism intensive. I've already got loads of ideas for stories and stuff I want to write about. I can't wait to get stuck in. Although, I do still need to sort out my placement, eeps!

3. This also means I won't be doing a 9-5 until July at the earliest.
I don't think I need to elaborate on this one.

4. The David Lynch Factory Photographs exhibition
I've loved David Lynch ever since watching Twin Peaks way too young with my older sister. I'm super exited about his photographic exhibition coming to London later this month. The exhibition features images of crumbling, dilapidated factories in a number of locations including Berlin and New York. To make it even more eerie, Lynch has produced an accompanying sound installation. And there will be screening rooms set up showing Eraserhead and the Elephant Man. Anyone into Lynch, urban x, the underground rave scene etc will love this.  You can check the exhibition at the Photographers Gallery from 17 Jan - 30 Mar 2014 and it's free! Here's an image from the exhibition.

5. Spending another year with my love.
I gave up the brownies, guitar and smoking but some how I've stuck with the boy... Actually, I think he deserves congratulating. Patience of a saint doesn't come close.

6. Getting round to reading The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf.
I'm a bit slow off the mark with this one. Last August one of my favourite authors Martin Miller released his third book in the Kalix series. The series centers around a teenage werewolf, Kalix MacRinnalch. Outcast and on the run from her family, Kalix is depressed, addicted to laudnum and loves the Runaways. She finds refuge in South London with Daniel and Moonglow, two students who really don't know what they've let themselves in for. I can't tell you anything about this third installment because I've yet to read it but why don't you have a quick read of this extract from the book on Martin Miller's blog

7. Getting at least one more tattoo
The amazing, award winning Dan at Black Sail Tattoo, Brighton has designed me the most beautiful moon tattoo. I'll post pictures when it's done...

If you didn't spot it, here's a quick list of stuff that made 2013 awesome.

Thursday, 2 January 2014

Ten reasons why 2013 was awesome

In no particular order
1. Going to my favourite city twice with my love and wonderful friends
2. My mums health improving
3. Taking a German course
4. Handing in my notice at work!
5. Getting accepted on to a journalism course
6. Living in this flat longer than I've lived anywhere since I was 18
7. Spending a week on a boat celebrating one of my favourite friends birthdays
8. Feeling for the first time in a long time that there is hope and that I have a place in the world
9. Dancing at a festival in Barcelona with some old friends
10. Realising there's nowhere else I'd rather be than with my love